Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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