So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
