Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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