Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
now i know why i became what i already was.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
