im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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