I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
