she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
