so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
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