Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
