I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
