i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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