was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
