Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
