Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
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