I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
