rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
