Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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