I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
