Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
