you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
