Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
