all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
