dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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