How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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