I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
