you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
