I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Do vagina's smell?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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