i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
