Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
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