dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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