does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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