Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
