Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
she peed on how many people?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
