So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
