he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Boobs are out for the taking
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
