The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
that's an acceptable place to lick
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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