The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
