Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
