**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
