marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
When are your genitals available?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
