Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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