on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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