Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
