Fuck appropriateness.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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