i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
