Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
