Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
