the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
