walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
