i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
